Stop exceeding expectations at work.

Also, call your mom.

“Kevin, sometimes, I wish you were laid off last year.” These were my manager's words in our last 1:1 before she left the team.

“What? Huh, why?” I asked.

“You’re good at this job. That’s great, but then… you’re enjoying the reward too much. Unless someone forces you to stop, you’ll not stop and experience your life.”

Ever since that conversation, I’ve been thinking: what’s the reward she’s referring to? A little extra bonus? Sure, but that alone won’t make me retire sooner. The trust and reputation I’ve built with the team? Uh yes, but my manager – she’s leaving the team.

What else does exceeding expectations give me, really?

Nothing.

As this realization sank in, emptiness followed. It turns out the ratings I used to receive were not trophies – they were warnings. Warnings that I might be missing out on life’s other expectations.

I started to see that the “life” in the phrase “work-life balance” is more than “I still have a life” or “I can still catch a breath”. It’s about abundance in life. And If there’s extra time and energy to exceed expectations at work, shouldn’t I instead channel them on something else? Writing, playing basketball with friends, listening to my wife about her master plan for her next YouTube videos, and calling my parents. Oh gosh, there are so many things that I’d rather do once I start listing them.

As I grappled with this realization, an experience earlier this week crystallized this shift in perspective.

It was my mom’s birthday. She’s in Taipei, so I had to set an alarm at 9 am, to wish her happy birthday at exactly midnight her time. I wanted to be the first one to wish her a happy birthday.

“Hello?”

“Happy birthday!” I said, feeling a warmth spread through me.

Then, her voice cracked, and I could hear her fighting back tears, “Oh, sweetheart,” she said, “you remembered”.

At that moment, I realized I had just exceeded an expectation that was far more meaningful and lasting than any workplace metric. I made my mom happy and created a moment we’ll together cherish for years. No performance review could ever capture this kind of achievement.

So, here’s my new philosophy: Meet expectations at work. Figure out what that means and how to get that. Then, go and exceed other expectations you’ve always had in life. Write that story you’ve been putting off. Listen intently to your loved ones’ dreams and aspirations. Travel to that place in your YouTube search history.

And, call your mom.

She misses you. And you miss her too.